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Monday, November 1, 2010

Top 10 ways that Hiro might die at the Colopy house.

Hiro is a yorkiepoo that my family has been dog sitting, and has at this point become part of the family. I constantly hear my dad plotting with Hiro his plan of how to hide him when his mom come to take him home. He has been with us for 3 months and we have 2 more to go. Although my family has had many dogs in the past, they have been all rather large dogs, Labrador Retrievers and German Shorthairs. Hiro is maybe 7 pounds, he is tiny, he sleeps on our beds at night and we sometimes never notice. His small size has made me very nervous that we will kill him. The following is the top ten ways that Hiro might die while we watch him.

10.Trampled: There are many things that could trample this dog. We have stepped on him a few times, and if one happened to step on him just right, (or rather just wrong) I'm pretty sure it could break his neck. He also likes to run around and underfoot the neighbor's horses, constantly barking. They just may trample him to eliminate the nuisance.
 
9. Butter: We use to leave a stick of butter on the table covered on a butter dish. We stopped when Hiro ate the entire stick of butter. The rest of the night was filled with foamy throw-up.

8. Thanksgiving Dinner: This would be more of a murder. Hiro enters into barking fits where stands on the window seat barking passionately at what appears to be absolutely nothing. I understand when he see the neighbors walking, or when a person drives up our drive way, or even on occasion when he sees deer in the front yard, but most of the time there is nothing out there. Still, he barks as if he is trying to alert people that the second coming is upon us. I have threatened him on several occasions that if he doesn't stop we maybe having yorkiepoo for Thanksgiving instead of turkey. (This one is low on the list because obviously it would never happen, nor do I condone eating dogs just for the record.)

7. Buckeye: Hiro has occasionally entertained himself by throwing around a buckeye nut. These nuts, however are poisonous and should he decide to chew one it could be very bad.

Squirrel Chasing
6. Squirrel: Hiro love to chase squirrels, but really they are not that much smaller than he is. I'm pretty sure that at this point they are plotting to take him down, and I'm pretty sure that they could do it.

5. Peter: Peter is our German Shorthair obsessed with killing Hiro. At first we thought that maybe Peter wanted to be his friend, but ohhhhh no! Trust me Peter wants to kill him. For the most part Peter lives in the barn, but when he is our running around the yard, he circles the house knowing that Hiro is inside. He jumps on the screen door threating to destroy it. The first time Peter saw Hiro, he wailed as if there were no more female dog left in the world when Hiro was taken away. He is obsessed with Hiro more than I have seen a dog be obsessed with anything else.

4. Asphyxiation: One night my brother came home and I and Hiro went outside to greet him. My brother and I unloaded his car and went inside, and about 20 min later I realized that Hiro had not come inside with us. I went out to get him, but couldn't find him anywhere. I was starting to get nervous because it was dark out, and I did not feel like traipsing around the neighborhood to find him. Plus I was worried about the multiple beasts that could grab him. We finally found him shut in my brothers car, he must have jumped in while we were unloading it. I could just imagine us looking for him for hours while he was in the driveway the whole time running out of oxygen.

3. Dishwashed: I realized this one when I discovered that I had a new way of seeing whether or not the dishes in the dishwaher were dirty or clean. If the dishwasher door was open and Hiro was not around it then the dishes were clean. However if when the door is open he is standing with all four paws on the door, trying to get as far into the washer as possible to lick all the plates; well in that case the dishes are dirty. I was watching him trying to get as far into the dishwasher as possible and it occured to me that if someone wasn't paying attention they could easily close him up inside and start the dishwasher without knowing that he was in it. Could you imagine the terror of being dishwashed to death? Pitch black, scalding hot water coming from all directions, knives to dodge! An irrational fear of dishwashers just started.

2. Ping Pong Balls: This ranks so high because it really almost happened. Hiro became very sick one day, he couldn't move, he whimpered, his whole body shook, and he had ooey messes wherever he went. My dad took him to the vet and our best guess is that he ate a ping pong ball. Hiro loves ping pong balls. They are light, they bounce well, and he can throw them around easily. Hiro would entertain himself with a ping pong ball for hours until he decided he was done with the game and chew up the ball. Our best guess it that he ate part of the ball and it made him very sick. Unfortunately for Hiro he is not allowed to play with ping pong balls anymore.

1. Coyotes: We actually have coyotes hangin around where we live, and in there den they have found remnants of small dogs that they have eaten. If a coyote got a hold of Hiro he would be, quite literally, dead meat.  Everytime I let him out at night I'm afraid he won't come back. A few days ago my family had left for a fall Friday night football game. We left at 5:30 laiden with many blankets and and coats to keep us warm. Somehow Hiro snuck out with us as we were carrying everything out, and nobody noticed. We left the house with him running around outside. When we got back at 10:30 Hiro pranced happily up to our car to the horror of everyone in it. It was about 33 degress outside, and that fact that he both escaped all the coyotes and the cold is a miracle.

We love Hiro and we hope that he makes it through his stay with us, but the dangers are very real. It's tough out their for a Yorkiepoo.





Hiro with Shelbie, Kurt's girlfriend, before homecoming.

2 comments:

  1. SO funny. yet sad. either way i miss hiro and i miss you!

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  2. great blogsite, erin. seriously, i'm glad you overcame your fears!

    i think dishwasher would be the funniest (though, of course, tragic) hiro death.

    ReplyDelete