Cupcakes

My mom and I made cupcakes today. Can you guess by the ingredients how we are going to decorate them?

Making all of the pieces and assembling.

We microwaved yellow icing and dipped the shaped cupcakes in the icing. Then we put all of the pieces together and ta-da!

Fish and Duckies! Mom is holding up the sheet.

This is our favorite.

Fish faces.

More Kilt Photo's

Here are more and better photos from St. Patrick's Day

Notice that even their shoes match.

Keeping with tradition.

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patty's Day came and there were not only 2 Kilts made but 3. Once I figured out what I was doing they were easy to make. We had plently of fabric left over so I was able to make myself one as well. I just modified it a bit to make it more girlie.

Kurt and Jacob made it to school with their Kilts on but they didn't make it much farther. They were called down to the office during their first period classes and forced to take the kilts off. The school told them that it was too much of a distraction. They disagreed, and they made sure that the school realized what a distraction really was. Very class they went to they rallied to students and asked to go to the administration and teacher who were opposed to the Kilts and complain. It would have been far less a distraction for Kurt and Jacob to wear the Kilts.

From an Irish girl a couple days late, Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Get Your Kilt On

My Little Brother, Kurt and "adopted" little brother Jacob, have roped me in again. I have just two days to make them Kilts, so that they can wear them to school for St. Patrick's Day. The Irish in me just couldn't say no to the challenge. Plus I gained 2 awesome helpers who are willing to help me out however they can to get their Kilts done. They already made a Starbucks run. Woot

The pattern is cut out and the fabric is washing. I'm hoping to at least get everything cut out tonight. 

Beloved

Sunday I was yucky, I felt yucky, I felt gross outside and inside. I had slept through my alarm clock and missed church. (by slept through I mean that my alarm went off twice and groggy morning Erin, who I don't claim any relation to, turned it off knowing full well that she/I would probably not wake up) When I actually woke up and the reality of missing church hit me, I was mad and disappointed in myself. I was cranky with my mom. I was mad about my tv fast that i'm doing, and whiny in my heart about it. I was in need of a shower, and I was on my period. I was totally discouraged with who I was. I felt beyond yucky!

I didn't feel like approaching God, not at all, but I knew that I needed to. I went to put on some music in the background to start my Bible time. I turned on Pandora, (which we can now play through our TV's surround sound system, my new favorite thing) letting whatever station was on before come on, playing whichever song it wanted to play me. The song that came on was "Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North. Here are the lyrics:

Love of my life 
Look deep in my eyes 
There you will find what you need 
Give me your life 
Lust and the lies 
The past you’re afraid I might see 
You’ve been running away from me 

You’re my beloved 
Lover I’m yours 
Death shall not part us 
It’s you I died for 
For better or worse 
Forever we’ll be 
Our Love it unites us 
It binds you to me 
It’s a mystery 

Love of my life 
Look deep in my eyes 
There you will find what you need 
I‘m the giver of life 
I’ll clothe you in white 
My immaculate bride you will be 
Oh come running home to me 

You’re my beloved 
Lover I’m yours 
Death shall not part us 
It’s you I died for 
For better or worse 
Forever we’ll be 
Our Love it unites us 
It binds you to me 

Well you’ve been a mistress, my wife 
Chasing lovers it won’t satisfy 
Won’t you let me make you my bride 
You will drink of my lips 
And you’ll taste new life 

Cause you’re my beloved 
Lover I’m yours 
Death shall not part us 
It’s you I died for 
For better or worse 
Forever we’ll be 
Our Love it unites us 
And it binds you to me 

You’re my beloved 
Forever we’ll be 
Our love it unites us 
And it binds you to me 
It’s a mystery

I sat on my couch and wept. Here I was feeling super gross and yucky, feeling unlovable feeling Like "who would want this?" and God said "I do, I want you." Through all my faults He still saw me as beloved, and He still calls me "mine," He still asks me to be His bride. What a wonderful, loving, and tender God. He is so sweet! I still have a hard time grasping and understanding the way that he chooses to see me.

I use to listen to this song all the time, and God used it powerfully then, but I hadn't listened to it for a long time. The very next day my friend Liz, who I also have talked to in a while, wrote me this message:

Your "Back to Eden" post on God's love made me think back to a cherished memory I have never forgotten- you sharing the tenderness and gentleness of God's love through the Tenth Avenue North song "Beloved." You mentioned how the consistency of it coming on shuffle as you walked around campus seemed to be in line with your sensitivity to receiving more of God's sweet love for you. It seemed to come more on days when you could receive it and it didn't come on days when you felt more sensitive to His love. So precious. He's so sensitive and loving. I really appreciated reading your post. It made me miss you so very much. Hope all is well. :) 

The very next day He chose to remind me once again of how very much He loves me. Through my crap, through my sin, even through my unshoweredness, nothing I could do will make Him say "I don't want you anymore."  Instead his heart continues to long for mine. Where ever you are I pray that you would know that the same it true of you. God's heart is longing for yours, to Him you could not be anymore beautiful that you are this moment, you are His beloved, and nothing you could do would make Him say "I don't want you"

"That was Me"

I was recently able to make a trip to Bowling Green, and my week there was filled to the brim with visits with friends that I haven't gotten to talk to in a long time. There was lots of updating to be done, and my friends all were ready to dive below the surface, and to know, "How's it really going?" None of them just wanted the good stuff, they all wanted to hear about the struggles too, and they were all ready to help and encourage me in any way that they could. Hard conversations, joyful conversations, words celebrating God, and his work in my life. Grace and truth abounded. Love was poured out on me.

Today I was driving in my car and reflecting on all of this - how very good it felt to have these people who know me and who very tangibly love me - when God very sweetly whispered, "That was Me" in my ear.  It has taken me the day to turn over these three very simple words in my heart. When is saw my friends hearts holding me dear, loving me, rooting for me, teaching me; I was seeing God and his affections for me. He is not loving me from some far off distant place. He is loving me through the people and circumstances he is surrounding me with.

I forget how real God's love for me is. But it is as real as real the conversation over Starbuck's coffee, containing wisdom, truth, concern and laughter. As real as a late night full of dreaming of what things might be. When I see a friend get overwhelming excited about the work that God's doing in my life, that doesn't even begin to touch how excited God is for me.  God wants to poor even more wisdom in me than the friend who so wisely asked, "Do you need grace or truth?" When I got to sit with  bunch of friends who are in the same place of life I am, and dealing with similar things, God was displaying his understanding.  Even the all to brief bear hug from a friend at church who I only got to see for a split second, displayed God's joy of just being able to see, and be with me, and know me. 

When I feel like God is distant, when I forget how real He is, how present He is, I can look to my friends. I can feel their tangible love for me, and I can remember that God's love is deeper, and greater. The characteristics inside them are only glimpses of the characteristics of God. Suddenly God seems very real, very tangible, very concrete. It doesn't seem near as hard to seek Him, and to be with Him, and to know Him.