I'm am sitting at home bored out of my mind, and desperately fighting the temptation to turn on the TV or use hulu. (God is convicting me not to watch TV right now, and it has much more of a battle than I anticipated.) So to fight my boredom I decided to send vibes out into the universe to make someone call our house so that I caould talk to them. I was even willing to get another call from the RNC, I've thought of some pretty clever conversations to start with them, about their all to frequent calling.
Just as I was sending out my vibes the phone rang, and I in disbelief and excitement ran to answer it. I couldn't wait to see who my "cosmic vibes" had had an effect on. With great anticipation I pick up the phone and say "Hello?" only to be answered by my mothers butt. I could hear her talking with people in the background. (Her butt didn't inform her that it was going to call me.) Not only that but 3 minutes into our convo of silence, her butt decided to hang up on me. I guess it ran out of things to say.
Moral of the story: My cosmic vibes only reach my mom's butt as of now, but at least I know they are going somewhere.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
This Blog Thing
So I've decided to try out this blog thing. I keep thinking of Blog posts that would be fun to write and I have been inspired by the Blogging of others. Its a great way to keep up with others, and if nothing else it ends up being like an online journal, forever saved digitally, even if my house burns down this will still be here. So why not blog, seems like an awesome thing to do right?
The truth is that I am actually teriffied of this. I have actually been putting this off and running away from it because of many fears:
1. No one will want to follow me. I'm not meaning that I want hundreds or thousands of people to follow me like they do my favorite blogger Jonathan Acuff @ stuffchristianslike.net. I just want my friends to follow me. I am afraid that what I have to say won't be poetic, or inspiring, or even interesting enough for even the people I know to want to read what I write.
2.People won't like what I write. Not only will my writing be uninteresting but people will find my writing off putting. I realize that is easy to put more of yourself out their when you are just typing thoughts onto a computer screen, but as soon as I hit "Publish Post" this is gonna be out there for anybody to see. What if the parts of my inside that I decide to reveal make people cringe?
3. I won't keep up with it. I know me, and I know that this is a project that I will be really excited about for a while and then post will start getting farther and farther apart. Soon I will be starting every blog that appears only once every four months with "I'm so sorry it has been so long since I posted last." Finally I will give up on it, and it will never have been what I dreamed it could be.
So I was facing all these fears as I read a brilliant post by a dear friend. Her poem was inspiring it was deep and personal and a kind of raw that I have never experienced. It made me want to be able to blog and offer myself up like she does, and yet I know that I cannot write poetry like hers. I do not have the experiences that she has had to get to that raw place. For a long time I have felt like why even bother, people won't find me near as interesting as her and my other friends. I then realized that in all of these fears I was relying on the approval of man for my satisfaction and worth, and that is not where it comes from. My worth comes from my God who is my creator, my Father who longs after me and my affection. He who said that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. Even if all of my fears came to be reality, I can still offer up my blogs as 3 year old offers up drawings to her daddy. What loving father would cringe at their 3 year old's artwork? I can know that I am worthy, because the one who made me and redeems me is worthy.
The truth is that I am actually teriffied of this. I have actually been putting this off and running away from it because of many fears:
1. No one will want to follow me. I'm not meaning that I want hundreds or thousands of people to follow me like they do my favorite blogger Jonathan Acuff @ stuffchristianslike.net. I just want my friends to follow me. I am afraid that what I have to say won't be poetic, or inspiring, or even interesting enough for even the people I know to want to read what I write.
2.People won't like what I write. Not only will my writing be uninteresting but people will find my writing off putting. I realize that is easy to put more of yourself out their when you are just typing thoughts onto a computer screen, but as soon as I hit "Publish Post" this is gonna be out there for anybody to see. What if the parts of my inside that I decide to reveal make people cringe?
3. I won't keep up with it. I know me, and I know that this is a project that I will be really excited about for a while and then post will start getting farther and farther apart. Soon I will be starting every blog that appears only once every four months with "I'm so sorry it has been so long since I posted last." Finally I will give up on it, and it will never have been what I dreamed it could be.
So I was facing all these fears as I read a brilliant post by a dear friend. Her poem was inspiring it was deep and personal and a kind of raw that I have never experienced. It made me want to be able to blog and offer myself up like she does, and yet I know that I cannot write poetry like hers. I do not have the experiences that she has had to get to that raw place. For a long time I have felt like why even bother, people won't find me near as interesting as her and my other friends. I then realized that in all of these fears I was relying on the approval of man for my satisfaction and worth, and that is not where it comes from. My worth comes from my God who is my creator, my Father who longs after me and my affection. He who said that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. Even if all of my fears came to be reality, I can still offer up my blogs as 3 year old offers up drawings to her daddy. What loving father would cringe at their 3 year old's artwork? I can know that I am worthy, because the one who made me and redeems me is worthy.
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